Balance in Poetry by Ezra

For all the aspiring poets in my readership, here's something my son wrote about writing poetry..

Balance in Poetry
The patterns in nature are obvious to the eye, though usually not absolute.  The seeds on the sunflower are always placed in a wonderful spiral pattern, but yet every sunflower is diverse from another.  Every snowflake is completely unique, yet each has it’s own pattern.  All animals of a specific kind look alike, yet every one looks different.  

Man’s patterns are usually more exact than those found in nature. Circles, right angles and straight lines will very rarely be found in nature, but they are the basic principles that man uses in most everything he builds. You would never walk into a tree plantation where the trees are all in perfect rows and call it a woods. A woods needs the randomness of nature.  Yet, you would never walk into a meadow and call it a garden. To have a garden you need more pattern and less randomness.  

Depending on how you want your poetry to feel, you can lean more one way or the other, but however it gets done, patterns and diversity must be balanced. You need enough pattern that the poem answers to itself and enough diversity that it is interesting. This goes for everything from rhyme and rhythm even to the content of the poem.  For example: stop and brake do not rhyme because they have no pattern, whereas brake and break do not rhyme because they have no diversity.  But brake and lake rhyme because with them you have the perfect balance of pattern and diversity.  

As stated, the meter of a poem is an important place to balance pattern and diversity. Without a pattern, you have prose. But for your pattern to be pleasing, it must have some diversity. A poem with longer verses may have more diversity than others, but each one has its own arrangement of accented and unaccented syllables. The pattern should be consistent throughout the poem but should contain enough variety that the poem is not sing-songy or monotonous. Only in the lightest children’s poem could you get away with as much pattern as in the following example:

Swimming, swimming,

The whale was swimming in the sea.

Swimming, swimming,

The dog is swimming after me.

Swimming, swimming,

I’m swimming swimming really fast.

Swimming, swimming,

My dog went swimming right on past.

Only in this modern world of rhyme can you get away with as much diversity as in this example:

While out for a swim in the sea

I saw a whale was swimming with me.

Not sure what it was, I swam really fast,

But my dog who is faster went swimming on past.

Each line has it’s own meter, making way too much diversity.  If I matched any three lines to the other one, I would have a consistent pattern, and the meter would then be acceptable.

Truth and passion are two factors that must be balanced.  Any poem that does not have both is quite worthless.  If all you do is state the facts, your poem will be bland, but if all you do is paint pictures and express feelings, your poem will be hard to understand.  The one is the meat, the other is the salt. Depending on your taste and the style you are writing, you can change which is which by emphasizing one above the other, but you must have both.

You also need the perfect balance of things old and new. You want to revive thoughts and feelings that the reader has already had, but it’s not enough to stop there. You must build on those thoughts and take your readers places they have never been before. If you only use language that is common and accepted, you will have a poem that is very understandable but very boring too. If you use completely new thought, you will have a poem that is very hard to understand.  If you mix the two and have a good amount of common language heavily mixed with your own new thought, you will then have a poem with power in it. Of course the best place to derive your common language is directly from the Bible, and the second is from the rich heritage of Christian literature that we have in English.

The idea of balancing both truth and passion, and things old and new, is very well summed up by this statement said of Jeremy Taylor, “We will venture to assert that there is in any one of the prose folios of Jeremy Taylor, more fine fancy, and original imagery — more brilliant conceptions and glowing expressions — more new figures and new applications of old figures — more, in short of the body and the soul of poetry, than in all the odes and epics that have since been produced in Europe.” ~Edinburg Review*

Sourcing your thoughts directly from the Bible is not only beneficial because it is good to use concepts that your reader has already thought before, but it becomes necessary if you are going to have a poem that will have a lasting effect on someone’s life. The words of Scripture are living words like no other words ever spoken.  So tapping into them will put power in your poem, because now you are not the one saying it, but you have taken God’s words and put them to use.  I am assuming that you will use Scripture in context, fitting passages together that go together, otherwise it is worthless.  Now, if you do all that perfectly  but do not add any personal experience, you will have a poem that is doctrinally correct, even deep in a sense, but not touching in the least. I have seen poems where some poet rewrote a passage of Scripture in a poetic form, but such poems tend to be dry.  I would rather read the Scripture just as it is.  On the other hand, if you write a poem that is full of experience and emotion so that it is very touching, but not directly biblical, you will have a poem that is poor at best. I am not talking about poems that are unbiblical, because they teach things contrary to the Scripture, but simply poems that are not directly biblical.  Such poems may release a flow of emotion, perhaps even make people cry, but changing their lives will remain the work of those who use Scripture.


*. Library of Old English Prose Writers volume viii Jeremy Taylor, facing the preface

Hints on Hymnody

   I don't know much about music. But there is a difference between the modern choruses and old fashioned hymn music. Even I can hear it. One of the differences is in the meter. The choruses generally do not have consistent rhythm. The lyrics are not suited for it. They are written in the style of most modern poetry, which may or may not have rhyme, but almost never follows a rhythm pattern. Sometimes the music of a modern song is very pretty, but the words don't line up with it like they do in a good hymn. 

   If you want your poetry to be used as a hymn, it should have a consistent rhythm that fits hymn-style music. There are an infinite number of patterns you can use to have true poetic meter, but there are a few basic ones that are common to hymns. I have a hunch that the reason for this is that these meters best lend themselves to the style of music that sounds like a hymn to us.

   A poem does not have to be written in one of these common meters in order to become a good hymn, but I am suggesting that the writers of lyrics will make it easier for composers to write hymn music that is both beautiful and satisfying to the conservative ear, if they will stick to these and similar patterns.

   If you look in an old hymn book, you may see a code under the title of the hymn. These numbers or letters tell you what meter is used in the hymn. If you write words with the same meter, it can be sung to the same tune.

   There are two aspects to meter:

   1. The number of syllables

   2. The sequence of accented and unaccented syllables.

   The numbers in the code refer to the number of syllables, but the sequence of accents also has to be taken into account.

   There is technical terminology for the sequence of accents, but I am not going to use it  ~ partly because I don't know it, but largely because you probably don't know it either. I think you will understand me better in layman's terms.

Some of the most common meters:

CM (Common Meter 8.6.8.6.) 

      This is the meter used in Amazing Grace

     Each verse has four lines. The first and third lines have 8 syllables. The second and fourth have 6. All lines start with an unaccented syllable and alternate every other syllable across the line, ending with an accent. 

      Oh, for a thousand tongues to sing.

          My great redeemer's praise.

CMD (Common Meter Doubled 8.6.8.6.8.6.8.6.)

      As in Faith Is the Victory (excluding chorus)

     This is the same pattern as CM, but with 8 lines to a verse.

LM (Long Meter 8.8.8.8.)
     This is the meter used in When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

     Each verse has four lines. Each line has 8 syllables. All lines start with an unaccented syllable and alternate every other syllable across the line, ending with an accent. 

      Lord, speak to me that I may speak.

LMD (Long Meter Doubled 8.8.8.8.8.8.8.8.)

      This is the meter used in Some Day the Silver Cord Will Break

      Same pattern as LM, only with 8 lines to a verse.

SM (Short Meter 6.6.8.6.)

     This is the meter used in Blest Be the Tie that Binds

     Each verse has four lines. Lines one, two, and four have 6 syllables. The third line has 8. All lines start with an unaccented syllable and alternate every other syllable across the line, ending with an accent. 

        I hear Thy welcome voice,
        That calls me, Lord, to Thee,
     For cleansing in Thy precious blood 
        That flowed on Calvary.

SMD (Short Meter Doubled)

      As SM, but with 8 lines to a verse. 6.6.8.6.6.6.8.6.

6.6.6.6.8.8.

      As in Arise, My Soul, Arise

     Each verse has six lines. The first four lines have 6 syllables. The last two have 8. All lines start with an unaccented syllable and alternate every other syllable across the line, ending with an accent. 

      What was it, blessed God, 
      Led Thee to give Thy Son,

6.4.6.4.6.6.6.4.

      As in Nearer, My God, to Thee

      Each verse has 8 lines. The first four alternate between 6 and 4 syllables. The last four have three lines of 6 syllables and a fourth with 4. Each line begins with an accented syllable. The next 2 syllables are unaccented. In lines with 6 syllables, the line ends with an unaccented syllable. The lines with 4 syllables end in an accent.

    We are but strangers here

       Heav'n is our home.

     Earth is a desert drear

        Heav'n is our home.

     Dangers and sorrows stand

     Round us on ev'ry hand:

     Heav'n is our fatherland

        Heav'n is our home.

7.6.7.6.

      As in My Father Planned It All (excluding chorus)

      Four lines to a verse, alternating between 7 and 6 syllables. Each line starts with an unaccented syllable and alternates every other one. The 7 syllable lines end in an unaccented, and the 6 syllable lines end in an accented syllable.

7.6.7.6.D

      As in In Heavenly Love Abiding

      This is like 7.6.7.6. but with 8 lines to a verse.

      In heavenly love abiding, 

        No change my heart shall fear;

7.7.7.7.

      As in Jesus Christ Is Passing By

      Each verse has 4 lines with 7 syllables in each line. The lines start with an accented syllable, and alternate accent, unaccent, every other syllable, ending with an accented syllable.

      Depth of mercy! can there be
      Mercy still reserved for me?

7.7.7.7.7.7.

      As in Rock of Ages

     As 7.7.7.7. except that there are 6 lines to each verse.

7.7.7.7.D

      As Hark the Herald Angels Sing

      As 7.7.7.7. except that there are 8 lines to each verse.

8.7.8.7.

     As In the Cross of Christ I Glory

     Each verse has 4 lines, alternating between 8 and 7 syllables. All lines start with an accented syllable and alternate every other syllable. The lines with 8 syllables end in an unaccented syllable, and the ones with 7 end in an accent.

      Take me, O my Father, take me!

         Take me, save me, thro' Thy Son

8.7.8.7.8.7.

      As 8.7.8.7. except that there are 6 lines in each verse.

8.7.8.7.D

      Face to Face with Christ my Savior

      As 8.7.8.7. but with 8 lines in each verse.

8.8.6. D

      There are 6 lines to a verse. The first two have 8 syllables. The third has 6. The fourth and fifth have 8, and the last has 6. The accent pattern is the same as for CM.

      That bright and blessed morn is near

      When He, the Bridegroom, shall appear,

         And call His bride away.

8.8.8.8.8.8.

      As in Faith of Our Fathers

      As LM, but with 6 lines per verse.

9.9.9.9.

      As in Sweet By and By (excluding chorus)

      Each verse has 4 lines with 9 syllables in each. Each line alternates two unaccented syllables with one accented, and ends in an unaccented syllable.

      There's a land that is fairer than day.

10.10.10.10

      As in Cleanse Me

      Four lines to each verse, each having 10 syllables.  All lines start with an unaccented syllable and alternate every other one, ending in an accent.

      Be still my Soul: the Lord is on thy side. (This song has a similar meter, but with 6 lines to a verse, ie. 10.10.10.10.10.10.)

11.10.11.10

      As in Come, Ye Disconsolate

      Each verse has 4 lines, alternating in 11 and 10 syllables. All lines start with an accented syllable, then have two unaccented syllables, and continue in the same pattern. The lines with 11 syllables end with an unaccented syllable. The lines with 10 end with an accent.

      Life, life of love pour'd out fragrant and holy!
          Life, 'mid rude thorns of earth, stainless and sweet!

11.11.11.11.

      As in Lord Jesus, I Love Thee

      Each verse has 4 lines with 11 syllables. All lines start with an unaccented syllable followed by an accented and then two unaccented, ending with an accent.

      How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord, 

      Is laid for your faith in His excellent word.

12.9.12.9.

      As in Is Your All on the Altar? (excluding chorus)

      Each verse has four lines, alternating between 12 and 9 syllables. Each line starts with two unaccented syllables followed by an accented syllable, then two more unaccented, etc., ending in an accent.

            O how happy are they
            Who the Savior obey,
      And have laid up their treasure above!


   As you can see in the last example, a longer line can be split into two without affecting the meter.

The Poet's Dilemma

   You have heard of poetic license.  I don't use it to alter the facts.  But when I write a poem, I write my perception of the facts.  I know that my perception may deceive me, but I don't let that trouble me. When I write about events in other people's lives, I may say things that aren't quite so. I might say someone feels such and such, when the fact is, they don't.  That's not the dilemma.

   I consider myself to have poetic licence to write my poems in the first person, even when the events or feelings described in them are not my own.  I don't write fiction. I write what I perceive another person may be feeling. And for effect, especially in poems that deal with deeper emotions, I put the poem in first person and so bring the feelings closer to home.

   It's not that I never use third person, but a glance through my poems reveals that most of them are written in the first person. Many of them, especially my spiritual poems, are the reflection of my own feelings and experiences ~ but not all, and not necessarily from the time that they were written. This then is the dilemma. 

   I have sometimes written a poem for someone else's benefit, but written it as if I myself were going through the trial.  Thus, I have caused some who love me to be concerned and to wonder at me. Too much disclaimer won't do. It is only through knowing the depths of my own heart that I am able to speculate what may be transpiring in someone else's. Poetry is an intimate art, and it isn't possible to write it without exposing some of my heart. Here also is where its usefulness lies. What comes from the heart speaks to the heart.

I want my poetry to speak. And I want to share it with you.  But I don't want you to worry about me ~ especially if I write about struggles you wouldn't expect me to have.

How I Learned to Write Poetry, Part II

   I was serious enough in my desire to write good, old-fashioned, well-metered poetry to call in the help of a friend who had written some very good hymns (Glenn Conjurske.)  He wasn't overly enthusiastic at first.  He told me that poets were born, not made. Nonetheless, he was a friend, and he gave me some pointers and some healthy criticism. He even expressed some hope for me when he saw the following poem, which was patterned after one of his:

    To Hear a Loon’s Cry

   I want to hear a loon’s cry,

      I want a wooded lake.

I want to ride the placid waves,

      And watch the gentle wake.

   I want the soothing quiet,

      Of little splashes made,

When paddles touch the peaceful lake,

      Where never oar was laid.

   I want a starlit evening,

      A campfire on a bay,

In deep, untrammeled wilderness,

      Where cares are far away.

   I want the muffled stillness,

      The birch, the fir, the pine,

The woods that shield from troubled thoughts,

      And whisper peace divine.

   I want a dewy morning

      All stillness but the loons,

Whose distant melancholy cries

      Are sweet, alluring tunes.

   I want a place to listen,

      To think and pray and dream,

A rock, the woods, the lake, the loons,

      All near my God supreme.

_______________

   He became more earnest in helping me and even sent me one of his poems with his own critical remarks scribbled all over it. He was a tough critic, and I didn't always like having my poetry torn apart, but I never would have learned if I had received all praise.

   The basic and most important things he taught me are:

1.) Have something to say.  A poem should speak to the heart, and therefore must come from the heart.  A poem which is merely an intellectual exercise may have the form of poetry, but it lacks the spirit and essence of it.

2.) Don't include any words that don't have meaning.  Work and rework your lines if you have to until every word counts.  None should be thrown in merely to make up the meter or the rhyme.

3.) Try not to sacrifice either meter or sense, but if you must sacrifice one, sacrifice the meter ~ never the sense.

How I Learned to Write Poetry, Part l

   I have sometimes been asked how I learned to write metered, rhymed poetry, as it is so uncommon today to attempt it. Like many others, as a teenager I wrote the more common and rather unruly poetry of our day.  Yet, I was always fascinated by more classic verse. Disappointed with my own effusions, I gave up writing poetry altogether..
   When I was around 30, I read an article about Fanny Crosby in a magazine.  It said that she started writing hymns when she was 40.  I misunderstood the statement, thinking that she had begun to write poetry at that age.  She had been writing poetry since she would write.  But I thought to myself, "If Fanny Crosby could start at 40, I can start at 30."  I was inspired to start working on verses that had enough structure that they could be used as hymns.
   One of my first attempts was a plea for my two-year old, whom we called Liddie Bear, to be allowed to continue sucking her thumb a little longer.

Liddie Bear

Ity, bity Liddie Bear,
Sucks her thumb and strokes her hair ~
Comforts that cannot long last,
When her baby days are past.
Daddy says, "No more, no more,
When those toddling steps are o'er.
Thumbs are for the younger set."
We agree, and yet, and yet?
What, oh what then will there be,
For a girl who's less than three,
Of solace meet and comfort sweet,
For childish fears that she will meet,
For little cares that come her way,
Plaguing Liddie Bear each day?
Daddy, Daddy, don't you are?
Won't you help your Liddie Bear?

   I had to strain my wording to make the rhythm, but the plea had its effect.  And it doesn't seem to have had any debilitating effect on her.  Here she is on her wedding day in March of 2011: