Whose Fault Is It?

Authority and responsibility go hand in hand. This should go without saying. People in the workplace understand this with rarely a question. If you give a person authority to do a thing, he also has the responsibility to make sure it is done well. If he doesn't have authority, neither does he have the same degree of responsibility.

Nonetheless, when it comes to men's and women's roles both the world and the church seem to have lost sight of this basic principle. The world has stripped men of their authority in relationship to women --- and yet generally holds men responsible for all ills. The opposite is true in the church. Christians understand that the man has authority from God --- and yet they blame the woman for everything that goes wrong.

This was brought forcefully to my mind recently when I read an article about why children rebel. It was directed toward women who belittle their husbands. That this is in many cases a real problem, I do not deny. Many of us wives make it very difficult for our husbands to rise and up and be the men that they ought to be. Nonetheless, the man has been made the head of the family by God, and he is the one that God will hold responsible for the direction the family takes.

Whenever there is an unequal yoke, especially in spiritual matters, it will take its toll on the family. No  woman has a right to blame her husband for this. The Scriptural injunction "Quit you like men, be strong," applies to her as well as to him, and she has the responsibility to be faithful in her circumstances, to "see that she reverence her husband," and to walk humbly before God --- whatever her husband may do. 

But if it is wrong for the woman to blame the husband (and it is), it is also wrong --- and even more so --- for the man to blame his wife. It is wrong also for pastors and teachers to give women the impression that all the ills in the family are the fault of their feelings of disappointment. If the man is the head of the family (and he is), he bears the responsibility not only for his children, but for his wife also. She is the weaker vessel, and it is his responsibility to dwell with her according to wisdom. This does not absolve her of her own responsibilities, but it does relieve her of his.

 A printed sermon on the subject of the man's responsibility in marriage can be found here: The Husband Is the Head of the Wife.

~ Nita Brainard

 

More Animal Slippers

The little lovers of animal slippers have worn out and lost the bears and bunnies, and they want new ones to fit their growing feet and growing family.

To make new animals, I followed the basic pattern Animal Slippers, but knit them slightly bigger and didn't felt them down as much.

For the lizzards, I used stockinette stitch instead of garter.

I thought the lions would be puppies, but the orange yarn didn't felt, so I cut down the ears and added a mane.

 

The mice were going to be puppies, too, but they came out of the felting process looking more like mice, so mice they became.

On this set of slippers, I knit the ears on before felting, and they came out smaller than I anticipated.




The frogs are frogs.

It remains to be seen if these slippers are as popular as the originals.

Abusive Churches

There are abusive churches. There are churches whose pastors and leaders are wolves in sheep's clothing. These are men and churches of which the Bible tells us, "Beware of evil workers."

They are real concerns, and it is wise for us to point them out to one another. But what method should we use to determine what is abusive? How do we know whether a church is a good one or one that will hurt us or lead us astray? The answer is and always has been the same: THE WORD OF GOD.

Photo courtesy of Aaron Burden and Unsplash

If the Bible is the Word of God (and it is), and if it is a sufficient guide to the people of God (and it is), then the Bible must be the book by which we determine whom we should follow and whom we should avoid. A well-meaning person with insightful ideas about what constitutes an abusive church may write an interesting article, but if it does not base its points on the Word of God, it should by no means be trusted. 

The Bible, and the Bible alone, is our sole authority for all doctrine and practice. (2 Tim 3:16.) Especially in a day like our own when people have become expert at being offended at anything and everything, we must be careful that any accusation against a church or a church leader is based on abuses that are contrary to the Word of God and not simply displeasing to the carnal mind.

If a person feels hurt or threatened, it may be that a wolf or a dog has accosted them. If a weak brother is offended, it may be that a Christian leader is puffed up with pride, has crossed the bounds of charity, and is harming the people of God. Yet, on the other hand, it is also not uncommon for someone to be offended by a perfectly biblical stand made in love by a man of God. The fact that someone is hurt or offended is not in itself sufficient ground to assume that another party is in error.

It is also possible for a good and godly man to offend someone by his own mistaken notions, by cultural peculiarities, or even by a sin committed in a moment of weakness. These things should not be excused, but they must be dealt with in a biblical manner. We must be careful not to jump to the conclusion that the person who caused the offense is "abusive" and he and/or his church should be shunned.

The Bible tells us many things of which to beware. Let us take heed to the Lord's warnings. If we allow our minds to be renewed by the Word of God, we will not be deceived. Though the world, the flesh, the devil, and the false church all try to abuse us and lead us astray, yet we will cleave to the Lord Jesus and to His word.

Chevron Afghan

It's wedding season again, and I'm behind. Only one done.

I used a pattern for a  chevron baby blanket, but changed the striping pattern to suit my stash of wool, and made it full size.

The Goodness of God

A sample of Lee's articles for the local paper:

Chapel Chats

The Goodness of God

 written by Lee W. Brainard

      God is good. This is the plain teaching of the Bible and the experience of all who believe. But most men are uncomfortable with God. They don’t appreciate his goodness. And they don’t want his goodness. So they handle his goodness with unbelieving hands.
      Some claim God is not good. They complain, “If God is good, why does he allow bad things to happen?” The answer is easy — to give bad people opportunity to repent. The only way he could stop bad things today would be to cast all bad people into hell today.
      Others tweak his goodness so he is good the way they want him to be good. They want good to mean allowing them to be bad. They want good to mean winking at their sin and ungodliness.
      What is God’s manifested goodness really like? The Bible is clear. The goodness of God leads men to repentance (Rom. 2:4). The grace of God teaches men to deny ungodliness and worldly desires, and to live uprightly and godly in the present evil age (Tit. 2:12).
      This goal-focused goodness is based on the character of God and his purpose for man. God is good. And God wants man to be like him — to bear his image. Therefore God’s manifested goodness can only be for the purpose of conforming man to God’s goodness. It is impossible for manifested goodness to wink at rebellion and sin.

Granola Bars

Most every mom has a recipe that is often asked for. In my case it's granola bars. I developed the recipe years ago by modifying the recipe for Puffed Wheat Bars that my mom used to make.

Granola Bars

4 cups oatmeal

1 3/4 cups shredded coconut (I use unsweetened.)

1 cup chopped nuts or nutmeal

A little ground flax seed or wheat germ (optional)

Toast these ingredients lightly in the oven.

In a heavy kettle, melt:

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup honey

1 cup brown sugar (I use white sugar with a dabbling of molasses.)

Boil for one minute. Then add:

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

dash salt

Mix thoroughly. Then stir in the toasted oatmeal mixture. Press into cake pan. Cut while slightly warm. Allow to finish cooling before removing from pan.

If you decide to love these, you shouldn't have any trouble following through with your decision. 

Deciding to Love

Love and commitment are not the same thing.  In order for marriage to be what it ought to be, you need both. Commitment is based on a decision.  Love is much more complicated.

There are different kinds of love.  Some of them are more a matter of choice than others.  As Christians we choose to love good and hate evil — even if our affections are screaming the opposite. There are many times when you have to choose to love someone when your feelings do not incline you to do so.  Sometimes it happens that a man must choose to love his wife, though he doesn’t really feel like it.  If he is in this unfortunate situation, he ought by all means to choose to do right regardless of his feelings.  Perhaps he has to choose to forsake his mistress and love his wife.  It is right for him to do so, and it may be real love for his wife and kids that would induce him to do it — but it isn’t romance.

 You can choose to love your neighbor, to esteem another better than yourself, and to lay down your life for your wife.  These are love, but romance or “falling in love” is different.  You don’t decide to fall.  You just do.  You might decide to get close enough to fall — or decide not to — but falling in love is not a decision.

A man doesn't have to fall in love with a woman to marry her — but it is hard enough for him to obey Ephesians 5 even when he does.  Why make it harder? A woman doesn't want to hear, “I choose to love you.” What she wants to hear is, “I can’t help loving you.” Read the Song of Solomon and see if there is any deciding to love in there.

Anyone can choose to eat sauerkraut, but most folks can’t choose to love it as much as they do pizza.  You can decide what you do.  You can not decide what will thrill your heart.  You can choose to marry, and in a sense choose to love your wife.  You can also choose to take steps that will increase your enjoyment in every circumstance in life.  You can make choices that affect how you feel — but you can not directly choose your feelings.

      Romance is predominately feeling.  If you can decide it, you take the passion out of it, and it isn’t romance any more.  You could marry without it.  But why would you want to?  You may still have love if you did — the kind of love that can be decided, but that is a bare sort of love that should be reserved for those who have no hope of anything better.