Expectations

Expectations ruin relationships 

 is a true saying. But it is also true that

Relationships build expectations.

   From people I don't know I expect very little, but as they prove their goodwill towards me and build a friendship, I begin to have certain expectations. If those expectations go unmet, the relationship dies. If they are met, the relationship grows, and I begin to have more and more expectations until a plateau is reached or perhaps a crisis intervenes that changes the dynamics of the friendship.

   Sometimes our expectations are built on unrealistic fantasies that no fellow human can meet. Such expectations ruin relationships. But unfulfilled expectations are not necessarily the result of expectations that are unreasonable. Often even very legitimate expectations go unmet due to the failure of those who have caused us, by one means or another, to expect better things from them.

   Concerning a close friend who began to take up more of his time than he desired to give, William Cowper wrote, "Customs very soon become laws. . . . Long usage had made that which at first was optional a point of good manners, . . . " He felt obliged to meet the expectations he had raised in his friend, and he did so (--- until he realized that she had fallen in love with him, which of course changed everything, and he cut off the relationship altogether.)

  When Daniel was in the habit of meeting God three times a day, we might suppose that God began to expect that meeting. If so, He was not disappointed, and Daniel continued to do as he had always done even in the threat of the lion's den.

   I have been thinking about these things for some time, but I have hesitated to write about them because I wanted to delineate the ramifications of it all. I wanted to explain what kind of expectations are proper and which ones are not. And I wanted to say when expectations ruin relationships and when a ruined relationship is the fault of the one who fails to meet expectations. But these things are deep and intricate, and I am able only to lay out the principle. There are two sides to every coin. To every thing there is a season. (Eccl. 3:1). A time to expect things and a time to give what is expected.  A time to  lower expectations and a time to expect great things.

~Somewhere in Utah~

~ and if you expect my pictures to have a direct connection with my subject,

you may want to lower your expectations. ~


WholeHearted-Home

Florence

Florence was born in 1930. She passed from death into life about 1946. She passed from life into eternity March 3, 2013.

There’s a twinkle in her eye

In her home above the sky.

She has shed her house of clay

And has thrown the clod away.

Though it bound and held her fast,

She is freed from it at last,

And the Florence we once knew

Is alive beyond the blue.

There’s a spring now in her step.

She has humor, life, and pep.

By the earth no more confined,

No confusion clouds her mind.

Nothing’s there to cramp her style

Or to check her charming smile.

She is Florence through and through,

But with vim and vigor new.

We can bear our present pain

For the joy of Poppy’s gain,

For the life she hid with Christ

Now is hers, and amply spiced.

Things she once by faith believed

She has now in fact received.

What a glorious gift of grace!—

She beholds the Savior’s face.